“When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and yelled, “What’s the matter, no jobs on Mars?” When no one laughed I was real embarrassed. I don’t think people should make you feel that way.” (Jack Handy)
The story I am about to share is one that I intentionally don’t share often. I made allude to the challenges of having a special needs child periodically, but for the sake of Bryce and because I don’t want to appear pandering, I have avoided the topic in this blog. However, dealing with the challenges that come from parenting a special needs child have shaped me in ways that are far too exhaustive to elaborate on in even the most focused of blogs. But there is a point from these experiences that I would like to utilize so please indulge me as skate the edge of manipulation.
Seven years ago Shannon and I were blessed with the birth of our first son. From the moment he was born it was obvious we were going to have a lifetime of challenges ahead of us. Bryce was born with craniosynostosis. This basically means that his skull was fused in the womb on one side of his little head. He was obviously misshaped. This meant that we would have to prepare for numerous reconstructive surgeries that would in essence remove pieces of Bryce’s skull and reattach them. This first set of challenges all took place within the first year and a half. We felt that we were done with the hard part by then and felt that the developmental delays Bryce was experiencing were related to the pure medical problems Bryce had and that he would quickly catch up. However, we would come to find out that his developmental delays were more problematic than we thought and that we would need to prepare for years of OT and PT therapy. We finally got a hold of this and began to move forward. However, yet again, we would come to discover that along with still having some physical disfigurements, physical delays that affect fine and gross motor skills, and being nonverbal, he also struggled with behavioral issues that may have resulted from brain injuries before birth. These are obviously significantly enhanced by frustrations with the other issues, but we put Bryce on behavior altering medication and it was one of the hardest decisions Shannon and I have ever made. At seven years old Bryce still has a lot stacked against him with every accomplishment being evidence of his resolve. He is still nonverbal, with a slightly misshaped head, in regular therapy to work on speech and motor skills, and is on medication for helping him deal with his behavioral issues.
Despite realizing all the challenges that Bryce has (now including a little brother that could care less about his challenges and will instigate trouble with him whenever possible), when Bryce throws a fit in public and refuses to do as he is told and I have to act in a way that I am sure appears to be an overreaction by people who don’t know Bryce, I feel embarrassed. This is difficult to admit because I don’t’ want to give the idea that I don’t love him and feel deeply sympathetic for him, but often my first feeling is one of embarrassment (which, often as a direct result, is followed by frustration). The point of this little story is that God doesn’t seem to get embarrassed by us when we act like brats in public. He somehow is able to understand our struggles not only when he is tucking us in at night and can see how much we really do love Him, but when we throw ourselves on the ground in the middle of the mall and screaming because we want to run up and down the stairs.
As Jesus hung on the cross he was able to say, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” I understand that this request by Jesus for forgiveness was global, but it was written down by people that would one day put their faith in him. Jesus was saying these words to Judas who turned him in, Peter who denied knowing him, and the majority of the other disciples who hid. He was saying it to us as we act in a way that by any reasonable standard, should humiliate him for the way we act, for the way that we can act so selfish. In my recovery I have had to reconcile that the point isn’t that it is my sin that put him on the cross, but that even on that cross he had the dignity, patience, and love to understand me.
I am not convinced that Jesus had to go to the cross in order to reconcile our sins. That would not only invalidate free will, but would justify the position that Jesus’ death was a substitutionary sacrifice which would make God more of an economist than a God. However, I am sure of the fact that it is in His willingness to accept the fate of what he knew was coming and His ability to maintain his integrity and dignity through it that validated his divine authority. And nothing speaks to his integrity better than his ability to in the midst of a situation that is designed to bring about the greatest degree of pain and humiliation possible, be able to understand the reasons why we need His forgiveness in the first place.
Despite the evangelical proposition that we are forgiven because our sinful behavior and thoughts, regardless of how few we may have in relation to others, are nothing but ugliness in the eyes of God, Jesus was able to demonstrate that our sin is the selfish condition we are born into in this world with that predetermines a separation between us and God. As the perfect parent, God is able to understand why we act the way we act and love us anyway. He is able to calmly sit on the floor in the middle of the mall and ask us what is wrong, comfort us, and either prescribe appropriate discipline or just sit there with us regardless of how humiliating it should be for Him to do. It is His ability to become a fool for us that should empower us to become a fool for Him.
The story I am about to share is one that I intentionally don’t share often. I made allude to the challenges of having a special needs child periodically, but for the sake of Bryce and because I don’t want to appear pandering, I have avoided the topic in this blog. However, dealing with the challenges that come from parenting a special needs child have shaped me in ways that are far too exhaustive to elaborate on in even the most focused of blogs. But there is a point from these experiences that I would like to utilize so please indulge me as skate the edge of manipulation.
Seven years ago Shannon and I were blessed with the birth of our first son. From the moment he was born it was obvious we were going to have a lifetime of challenges ahead of us. Bryce was born with craniosynostosis. This basically means that his skull was fused in the womb on one side of his little head. He was obviously misshaped. This meant that we would have to prepare for numerous reconstructive surgeries that would in essence remove pieces of Bryce’s skull and reattach them. This first set of challenges all took place within the first year and a half. We felt that we were done with the hard part by then and felt that the developmental delays Bryce was experiencing were related to the pure medical problems Bryce had and that he would quickly catch up. However, we would come to find out that his developmental delays were more problematic than we thought and that we would need to prepare for years of OT and PT therapy. We finally got a hold of this and began to move forward. However, yet again, we would come to discover that along with still having some physical disfigurements, physical delays that affect fine and gross motor skills, and being nonverbal, he also struggled with behavioral issues that may have resulted from brain injuries before birth. These are obviously significantly enhanced by frustrations with the other issues, but we put Bryce on behavior altering medication and it was one of the hardest decisions Shannon and I have ever made. At seven years old Bryce still has a lot stacked against him with every accomplishment being evidence of his resolve. He is still nonverbal, with a slightly misshaped head, in regular therapy to work on speech and motor skills, and is on medication for helping him deal with his behavioral issues.
Despite realizing all the challenges that Bryce has (now including a little brother that could care less about his challenges and will instigate trouble with him whenever possible), when Bryce throws a fit in public and refuses to do as he is told and I have to act in a way that I am sure appears to be an overreaction by people who don’t know Bryce, I feel embarrassed. This is difficult to admit because I don’t’ want to give the idea that I don’t love him and feel deeply sympathetic for him, but often my first feeling is one of embarrassment (which, often as a direct result, is followed by frustration). The point of this little story is that God doesn’t seem to get embarrassed by us when we act like brats in public. He somehow is able to understand our struggles not only when he is tucking us in at night and can see how much we really do love Him, but when we throw ourselves on the ground in the middle of the mall and screaming because we want to run up and down the stairs.
As Jesus hung on the cross he was able to say, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” I understand that this request by Jesus for forgiveness was global, but it was written down by people that would one day put their faith in him. Jesus was saying these words to Judas who turned him in, Peter who denied knowing him, and the majority of the other disciples who hid. He was saying it to us as we act in a way that by any reasonable standard, should humiliate him for the way we act, for the way that we can act so selfish. In my recovery I have had to reconcile that the point isn’t that it is my sin that put him on the cross, but that even on that cross he had the dignity, patience, and love to understand me.
I am not convinced that Jesus had to go to the cross in order to reconcile our sins. That would not only invalidate free will, but would justify the position that Jesus’ death was a substitutionary sacrifice which would make God more of an economist than a God. However, I am sure of the fact that it is in His willingness to accept the fate of what he knew was coming and His ability to maintain his integrity and dignity through it that validated his divine authority. And nothing speaks to his integrity better than his ability to in the midst of a situation that is designed to bring about the greatest degree of pain and humiliation possible, be able to understand the reasons why we need His forgiveness in the first place.
Despite the evangelical proposition that we are forgiven because our sinful behavior and thoughts, regardless of how few we may have in relation to others, are nothing but ugliness in the eyes of God, Jesus was able to demonstrate that our sin is the selfish condition we are born into in this world with that predetermines a separation between us and God. As the perfect parent, God is able to understand why we act the way we act and love us anyway. He is able to calmly sit on the floor in the middle of the mall and ask us what is wrong, comfort us, and either prescribe appropriate discipline or just sit there with us regardless of how humiliating it should be for Him to do. It is His ability to become a fool for us that should empower us to become a fool for Him.
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