TAKING A LITTLE BREAK

The next six weeks are going to be pretty stressful for me. I am putting the final touches on my dissertation and have begun to start looking for a new job with a little more focus. Because of this I think that it would be a good time for me to take a little bit of a break from this blog so that I can put all the attention I need to into finalizing the paper while still keeping up with my other responsibilities. It is also a good time for me to ask why I am blogging in the first place. There are a couple of reasons that I need to take this self inventory. The first is that I was reluctant to blog in the first place because I consider (notice the present tense) blogging more than a little self-indulgent. Who am I to feel that what I have to say is worth reading? I chose to blog because I wanted an avenue to say things that I feel I need to say without worrying about how many people see it or worrying about how people take it. I could publicly say what I wanted to say and then not have to think about it anymore. Secondly, it is good for me to take the self-inventory so that I am sure I am doing it for the first reason. It is easy to start something like a blog and then just keep doing it for the sake of doing it rather than because of the reason you started it. So over the next few weeks I will take a break while I get a few things finished up and to see if this whole thing is still relevant to me.

Additionally, I worry that my general tone in this blog, my facebook account, and one-on-one conversations is being misinterpreted as being not just anti-church (which it isn’t intended to be), but anti-everything. As I continue down this path that I have come to travel I have also come to realize that people will consider me cynical, jaded, and bitter; that I am arrogantly and ignorantly judging the masses. I have come to accept that in this journey I will likely lose friends and the respect of others. And I have come to see that I will often feel like an outsider. I only regret this because it is so completely untrue. However, I feel that I am finding my voice for the first time. That being stated, because I realize that I am walking a fine line between objective criticism and jaded cynicism I need to honestly consider the words I write and the way I interact with the world.

As I stated earlier, I chose a blogging format specifically because I didn’t want to be shaped by others expectations or criticisms. I wanted to be able to write freely hoping that in some way the journey I have traveled is similar to others who are encouraged by my experiences and reflections. BUT, it is also beneficial to occasionally allow yourself to seek the opinion of others regarding what you do. So if you have any input into the value of this blog I would greatly appreciate it.