A Simple List

What I miss about my Christianity from when I was younger:

Euphoria. While I have never really enjoyed praise and worship or traditional worship music, I did enjoy the experience potential that it offered to participate in a social enthusiasm.

Purpose. This is something that has had a negative affect on me as I have often felt discouraged when purpose was lacking, but the ability to claim something that felt like a calling always gave me something to lean back on.

Community. This is something else that I am reluctant to state as a always present. I have always struggled with feeling like I don't belong or feeling like whatever group I was with that I disagreed on things that really separated me from the group. But the social experience of community can be really powerful in Christianity, especially in ministry. There is often a sense of superficiality and a pressure to conform for fear of judgment, but when it is good, it is really good.

Certainty. While I have never been one to feel much certainty, evangelical faith gives certainty that transcends uncertainty. This provides a confidence that is hard to argue with.

Direction. There was a long period of time when I knew the direction my life was heading professionally. The loss of this isn't a criticism toward Christianity because many have this outside of Christianity, but I followed that direction into my 30's. Then I found myself working in a secular field that isn't particularly rewarding with no idea what I would even do that would be rewarding.